Last modified: Wed Jan 30 19:34:42 EST 2019
These blueberry pancakes should come out thick and cakey. The flour and milk are measured by weight, not volume, for better consistency.
If egg substitute is frozen, move from fridge to freezer 36 hours beforehand so that it will be thawed in time.
3 hours beforehand, fill ramekin with frozen wild blueberries and cover with plastic wrap; allow to thaw at room temperature. Warning: blueberries will explode if microwaved.
Preheat griddle to maximum temperature or whatever works. (Those thermostats aren't very accurate.) When ready, stir all ingredients just enough to mix, swipe the griddle with real butter, and immediately pour three pancakes. Turn once and serve when done.
Microwave veggie crumbles for 1 minute, stir, microwave for 30 seconds, stir again.
Microwave a tortilla for 8 seconds, coat it with adhesive and curry powder, and wrap it to the outside of a taco shell. Fill the bottom of the taco shell with more adhesive and fat-free Cheddar.
Fill taco with crumbles. Coat top of taco with Sazonador Total or Mrs. Dash and another layer of fat-free Cheddar. Apply hot sauce liberally and eat.
Repeat as necessary.
Substitute large tortilla and omit taco shell.
Fill a small bowl with frozen veggie crumbles and thaw in microwave.
Warm tortilla in microwave. Dump all ingredients in a big pile in the middle, wrap it up and eat.
This is a very dense, 100% rye bread that bears no resemblance to what is commonly sold as rye bread at chain grocery stores. It is not like wheat bread. The crumb appears slightly gummy when the bread is cut, but the texture remains firm.
Shake the container of rye flour to aerate it before measuring out 4 cups.
Get the yeast going in the warm water, then combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl and stir until fully mixed.
Scrape the mixture into a standard 9 inch × 5 inch bread pan and level out the top with a spatula. Cover loosely with plastic wrap. Wait for it to rise just a little above the top of the pan. It won't rise much farther than that regardless.
Bake at 350° Fahrenheit for 80 minutes.
A recipe for the 3-pound bread machine with 2 paddles.
Note: This recipe is difficult to get started in a bread machine, firstly because the flour just wants to float on top when it tries to mix, and secondly because it becomes very sticky once it is partially mixed. The end product is a substantial wheat/rye bread.
Add water and olive oil to the machine. Pre-mix the dry ingredients before adding, then get the wet and dry at least somewhat mixed before starting the machine. Run on regular cycle, 3 lbs, dark crust.
The dough starts out being sticky but soon enough it absorbs all that water. Carefully use a spoon to help the machine along by pulling the doughball away from the side of the pan until the sticky phase is over and it is kneading well.
Preheat oven to 500 K (440 degrees F). Smear the inside of a #7 cast iron skillet with generous amounts of cold butter. Quickly combine wet and dry ingredients, scrape into skillet, and promptly move to bottom rack. Bake 20 minutes. Cut radially and serve with butter or margarine. Makes 4 country servings (8 city).
When reheating, slice pieces horizontally and crisp up on griddle or in toaster/oven.
For a dry, crumbly cornbread that will soak up more butter, substitute light olive oil for the corn oil.
The defining feature of Dave's Pizza is crust that is extremely thin but quite crispy. To manage this, the crust must be blind baked on a pan before toppings are added. It is too thin to be managed with a peel. If it were baked on an oven rack it would fall through, and if toppings were added first it would never get crispy.
Knead dough in bread machine. Check the dough a few times and add 1 tsp water if it's dry or a sprinkle of flour if it's sticky.
Make a doughball, coat it in olive oil and allow it to rise in a covered bowl. Sprinkle corn meal over a perforated pan. Stretch dough to 15 inch diameter (thin enough to see through) and place on pan. Coat with olive oil and blind bake for 15 minutes at 350° Fahrenheit. When finished it should have the crispness of a fried tortilla.
(N.B., wheat crust can't be stretched as thin without tearing and won't get crispy.)
Note: Veggie crumbles work best under the cheese while patties work best as a topping.
Thaw veggie patties or crumbles in microwave.
Coat crust with sauce, Sazonador Total, fennel seed, hot pepper, veggie crumbles (if applicable), and cheese. Tear veggie patties into chunks and spread over cheese (if applicable). Top with paprika and drizzle with olive oil. Bake for 9 minutes at 475° Fahrenheit.
If recipe is doubled to make 2 pizzas in 1 oven, increase baking times to 19 minutes at 350° for the crust and then 11 minutes at 475°.
If the veggie crumbles are retaining a lot of water, thaw them in a microwave safe bowl lined with several paper towels (or a real towel, if you're inclined to wash veggie bits out of it afterward) before adding them to the sauce. Otherwise, thawing is not necessary.
Empty sauce into a humongous pot. Add all of the veggie crumbles and seasonings. Heat on low, stirring occasionally until pasta is ready.
Boil the pasta per the instructions on the box. Drain pasta in colander, then dump it into a large Tupperware container. (Do NOT rinse it.) Add sauce and stir to combine.
Makes four servings. The Tupperware is to store the leftovers in the fridge. Subsequent servings can be reheated in the microwave.
These are strongly sour pickles. Probably bad for your teeth. Also, alum is toxic.
Special equipment needed: 5 liter jar for the pickles.
* Plain old distilled white vinegar works, but use other kinds to taste.
Bring vinegar, salt, alum, and spices to a boil, stirring to dissolve the salt. Remove the mixture from heat and let it cool.
Cut both ends off of the kirbys, slice them in half, and stack them in the jar. Set the jar upright. Peel and smash the garlic and throw it on top. Pour the cooled vinegar and spice mixture into the jar. Top off with cold water, close the lid, shake to combine, and refrigerate. Pickles will take about a month to achieve peak flavor and texture.
As a by-product, you get a lot of pickled garlic cloves, which can go on everything.
Due to LISTERIA nobody should ever make fermented pickles.
Special equipment: 2 gallon crock with weights and lid; jugs for refrigerated storage.
Dissolve the salt in the water to make brine. Wash and cut ends off of kirbys. Add garlic and spices, kirbys, weights, and brine to the crock in that order. The kirbys and weights should be fully submerged. Move crock to a cool area and put the lid on. Check daily and skim yeast off the surface of the water (a paper towel works). It should start to smell tangy. When fermented enough, transfer the pickles and brine to jugs and refrigerate.
A thin white residue that wipes off the outside of the pickles is to be expected (a product of the yeast). However, they should not smell bad, taste bad, go soft, or have other stuff growing on them.
Summer recipe (fermenting temperature 70 to 72 °F):
Winter recipe (fermenting temperature 64 to 66 °F): needs work
Important: Ignore any instructions that came with the noodles. This includes instructions regarding how much water to use, how long to cook, and rinsing the noodles after cooking.
Add a few drops of hot oil (to control foaming) to the water and bring it to a boil. Stir in noodles and boil for 2 minutes. Top with hot oil, Tamari to taste and serve.
For heavier noodles dissolve ½ tsp vegetable bouillon concentrate (Better Than Bouillon) while heating the water.
This is not as hot as the hot oil you can buy, but it has more flavor.
Pour slightly more than the needed amount of oil into a pot. Tear dried chiles in half or chop them into large pieces so that the oil can get inside of them. Add them to the oil (seeds and all) and keep going until there's no room for any more. Simmer the chiles on medium heat until they are fried to a dark color but not burned. Remove the pot from heat and allow the mixture to cool to room temperature. Put a funnel in the top of an oil bottle. Hold a strainer over the funnel and pour the mixture through it.
(If you stuff the chiles into the oil bottle, you might have trouble getting them back out.)
Special equipment needed: simple, small crock pot with only one heat setting (low).
Important: Ignore any instructions that came with the beans. This includes instructions regarding how much water to use, how long to cook, and rinsing.
At bedtime the previous night, pour dry beans into crock, inspect and remove any rocks, add water and cover. Turn on the crock and go to bed.
One hour before lunch the next day, stir in vegetable bouillon concentrate. Add a handful of dry pasta, a handful of rice, Sazonador Total, and smoke flavoring, stir, and re-cover.
Makes one lunch serving. If starting in the morning to have ready for dinner, use ⅜ cup less water.
Pop the microwave popcorn, empty it into a huge mixing bowl, and set it aside while preparing the syrup. It needs to cool off and dry out a bit before the syrup is added.
Heat and stir the water and sugar until it's pretty much dissolved.
Pour the syrup over the cooled popcorn and stir for even coating. Top with salt and pepper, stir to mix in.